This is to all of you out there that have lost someone important to you, whether it happened a long time ago or recently.
Losing your girlfriend, especially to another guy can be a huge
emotional shocker, it can be cause for a lot of introspection. Wasn’t I good enough? Did I not make her happy? Is there someone else?
While these questions eat you up inside, there’s also anger, anger that she hurt you, anger that something happened beyond your control.
Worse still that it feels like no one gets how you feel.
Maybe it was fate.
F**k fate.
Here is a quick guide to *Getting Her Back* ... from DaveC and myself ...
"Well, guess what? It is possible to get your ex back, I’m talking from experience. You see just 2 months ago my girlfriend broke up with me for one of her ex-boyfriends, I was gutted. I never saw this coming and it hurt like hell.
However, there was a silver lining, I already had the tools to get
this girl back. Me and Mehow had been helping guys in this situation for quite some time now and it was time to do it myself.
After getting my ex back personally I realized how important it is that this knowledge needed to be shared.
Now, it would be irresponsible of me to tell you to continue reading if:
1) You don’t actually care about her, you just want her back i.e. trying to control her
2) You broke up for a real reason that makes the relationship
impossible to work
3) You are an emotional wreck, it’s going to take some emotional stability to get her back, you want to be strong.
4) She hurt you and then left, if she hurt you then find a better
girl, one that won’t.
5) Finally, you must be willing to work at the relationship and
compromise.
Still reading?
Ok, now that we’ve put that to the side let’s get into it. The first
step is you must remain friends with your ex. This is crucial, if you let all contact slip away then over time all the feelings and emotions that bound you together will dissipate and at that point it’s like starting from scratch. It can be done and it’s encouraged for those of you whose relationships are over because of hug emotional turmoil that she’ll be reminded of when she sees you.
For most of you this doesn’t apply. Call her, see her and talk to her, convince her that you can remain friends and that it’ll be good to channel all that time you’ve spent together into an amazing and supportive friendship.
The next part is very, very important. When you next hang out with her and see her, you need to remain relaxed, un-needy and not bring up any of the bad emotions or break up talk unless she does.
You want to start acting how you were both acting during the best parts of your relationship, behaving like everything is perfect between you and ultimately have a great time with her.
Because you guys use to date there will still be a high level of
intimacy between both of you, and it’s possible that you may end up sleeping together again. If this happens then great, but if not then that’s cool too. The important step is to show that you can both enjoy each others company and to start her seeing you as this amazing guy again (with a little sexual tension added in for the fun of it)
From there you’ll need to explain why it is that you guys get along so much better as friends then as a couple. The reason that this is so important is simply that if you let her realize this herself then she will just assume that you never clicked on a physical level or it wasn’t meant to be’. This will kill it.
The way to frame it is that there was a problem in the relationship, that neither of you resolved and that caused you to act badly around each other, tell her that this problem is resolved now and so you get on better then ever. She should realize that with this problem gone you and her can be very happy together.
In my situation I told the girl in question that we were fighting
because she felt guilty about having feelings for her ex, now that she didn’t feel guilty it was like we’re back in the same place. She agreed.
Now, there is an important concept to maintain throughout future interactions with your ex and that’s value velocity. The premise is that you want to keep her emotionally addicted to you at all times. This way she’ll miss you when you aren’t gone and she should start calling you to chat. A lot. This concept is too huge for the scope of this article unfortunately (for more on "value velocity" go here.
Finally, if she left you for a particular reason you want to start
indirectly setting assumptions about why that isn’t right for her as though you are looking out for her as a ‘friend’.
Actually your getting her to doubt the reason she left you, whether it’s another man or just because you weren’t getting along. The way to tell her this is through reminding her that you know her better then anyone and you worry about her choices, you mean this objectively because you want her to be happy.
That’s it guys, these are the steps you need to get your ex back today! I hope this helps.
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